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This period signifies a full decade since the phrase “disappearing” hit the mainstream. Back then, the idea that someone could abruptly cease contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who matured during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted assault on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – For Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks confirm your choice to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately shut down any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {