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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?